The Practice of Self-Defeating Behavior with our Health

The Better Life Experts | April 20, 2009

Many of us practice self-defeating behavior when it comes to diet and exercise without wanting to take personal ownership of the likely consequences associated with those behavioral choices. For example, a person who hears of a group exercise program that is available at their local community center may be initially excited about the prospect of working–out, but end up talking themselves out of the program before it has even begun because “that’s what they do”.

In this bulletin we will examine the hypothetical case of a person who actively practices, maintains and perpetuates self-defeating behavior with regard to group exercise. Let us name this person Joan and go through some possible thought processes she uses to talk herself out of engaging in positive and healthy behaviors.

This is a generalized example of continuing self defeating behavior if Joan allows her fears and anxiety get in the way of achieving her goal. Many people like Joan quit at step 8 and never go back to class. The “if-thens” get in the way of trying to make healthy changes in her life. If I show up for class and don’t know what I am doing, then I will be embarrassed; if I try to be social with other participants, then I’ll wind up looking like a fool; if I can’t do all the exercises, then I will be laughed at; if I try my best and still can’t finish a routine, then I’ll get rejected by the others.

It is likely that IF we let the wrong assumptions mingle with our fears; we (like Joan) will come to the wrong conclusions. We will then decide that joining an exercise class is dangerous, we aren’t prepared to deal with our fears and anxiety and therefore are not ready to begin lifestyle change. The fascinating part of the “if-then” situation is that the fears are presupposed and used as a protection against imagined dangers.

Even when Joan gets past step 6 in our example, she continues to practice self-defeating behavior by concluding that because physical exercise is hard and sweaty work, she is in danger. Joan begins to compare herself to others in the class who are more fit and agile and begins to feel embarrassed and left out. If someone approaches Joan after class and compliments her on her stamina and flexibility, she is likely to dismiss the compliment and downplay her athletic ability. In a misguided effort to protect herself, Joan is actually cementing her self-defeating behavior. By allowing these fears to prevent her from attending and completing the exercise classes that were part of the goal of the weight loss program she started, she is unlikely to lose 30 pounds safely and successfully.

The Better Life Experts | April 20, 2009